Lynn Taylor Consulting

If you’re like many senior business leaders today, you may often feel like you run a schoolyard or playground, not a professional office. But perhaps the only mood swings in sight are your manager’s mood swings.

Bad bosses, or what I call Terrible Office Tyrants (TOTs™) seem to be making rounds these days, as job loss fears are rampant.  With unemployment at 9.5 percent nationally, it’s no wonder. Your managers may seem like the bullies at recess who goad your staff into jumping down from the top of a towering slide. The real-life version being that they ask subordinates to go into their boss’s office – the lion’s den – to confirm the details of Wednesday’s staff meeting.

If you’re running a company, this undoubtedly makes you cringe.

But take heart. In my new book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, I remind people that childish behavior at work is not your imagination! Sand may not be seen on the hallway parquet floor, but sandbox politics can be found everywhere if you look closely. Welcome to TOTdom.

So if unruly bosses and children who cannot moderate their power (a.k.a. TOTs) have a lot in common, what can you do?  A few tips:

1.    Use C.A.L.M. – Be the voice of reason to TOTs:

Communicate – Openly, honestly and frequently;

Anticipate – Know when trouble might be coming down the hall, and be prepared to “manage your managers” with solutions;

Laugh – Humor is the great diffuser of tension, so use it to simmer a heated debate; and

Manage all around you - Role model the behavior you want to see in your  team, and keep your ear to the ground. Use positive reinforcement, and set limits to bad behavior.

2.    Don’t allow needy bosses to consume the life of your valued staff. Needy bosses have “separation anxiety,” and want your team to work virtually 24/7. That ultimately hurts productivity and profits. Managers like these require a TOT “countdown” warning, especially, for example, when staff is leaving on a planned vacation this summer: “I’m leaving in 4, 3, 2, 1 week (s), but John is covering for me, and all my projects are under control.”

3.    Know that angry, irritable and generally bad bosses are usually acting out of fear. Corporate anxiety is contagious, so make sure you’re doing your part to foster confidence and independent thinking. TOTs can easily become stressed out about their own jobs; meeting deadlines; reducing staff or pay; or just being overworked, and pass that along to your team. Your workforce will be left wondering: “Is it me?” – wasting precious time.

You can take proactive steps to manage the 20 most common TOT traits, whether they are of the “bratty” or “little lost lamb” variety. Remember that behind your manager’s professional façade is often a small child (hanging from the monkey bars in fright!)

Take a moment to check off how many of these traits you witness directly or indirectly in a day. Please let me know through the blog or site contact forms. There are tons of tips and anecdotes in the new book, but I’d like to hear yours!

Bratty Behavior

1.    Bragging
2.    Bullying
3.    Demanding
4.    Ignoring
5.    Impulsiveness
6.    Lying
7.    Self-Centeredness
8.    Stubbornness
9.    Tantrums
10.  Territorialism
11.   Whining

Little Lost Lambs
12.    Endless Questioning
13.    Fantasy World
14.    Fickleness
15.    Helplessness
16.    Irrational Fears
17.    Forgetfulness
18.    Mood Swings
19.    Neediness
20.    Short Attention Spans

It has been a very exciting week! In the first week’s launch of my book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™(TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job (John Wiley & Sons), it has received extensive media attention. The book’s release represents my seven year passion, which continues - to help employees become more empowered in their jobs, and to foster a more humanized workplace. Along the way, I’ve had the support and encouragement of amazing business colleagues and friends, for which I am very grateful.

It’s rewarding to hear reactions to the book from employees, reporters and, yes, even business leaders! Comments have run the gamut from “Oh, of course!” to outright laughter. Overall, there’s a common, instant response to the core premise – the striking parallels between difficult bosses and children.

“That’s how my boss acts,” many people exclaim, finally realizing that they’re not alone.

“Boy, do we have TOTS in our office!” is another familiar statement.

“Wow, you’ve really hit on something here!”

And that’s one of the important messages of my writing and training – TOTs really are everywhere and all of us can deal with them.

As I discussed on ABC-TV this week with Tory Johnson, its important that we don’t lose sight of the fact that employees and employers must share the responsibility to tame their TOTs. Too many bad bosses are acting like unruly children who have trouble modulating their power. They’re throwing tantrums, being demanding, needy, distracted or moody.

Such childish behaviors sap productivity – at a time when we least need that to happen! But the great news is that employees can turn this around… almost instantly, with some honed parental-style, humanistic techniques!

As I pointed out in my recent “When TOTs Run the Office” article on the Psychology Today website, at some point in our working lives we’re likely to be confronted with a TOT. Too many offices resemble a chaotic schoolyard, replete with bad bosses playing sandbox politics. But therein lies an opportunity to save your sanity and everyone else’s.

By “decoding” the boss’s true emotions, employees can better align themselves with their manager’s goals, and become indispensable. Jihan Thompson of Marie Claire talks with me about this approach in the magazine’s August 2009 cover story, where I provide insights on interpreting a boss’s childlike statements.

Taming your TOT is not just for employees. In Forbes magazine’s CEO Power section this week, I point out how CEOs can also “Make Room at the Top” for strong leaders by avoiding “territorialism.” While doing so, they promote an environment where there’s space for everyone to grow and do their best work. A place that’s safe for success. This boosts productivity, employee morale and, profits.

So the next time you spot a TOT, don’t reach for a pacifier, pack your boxes or order a mass layoff. First get your copy (or copies!) of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™(TOT) from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Borders …and tame your office TOTs – for a workplace that works!