Archive for the ‘Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant’ Category
When Bad Bosses a.k.a. TOTs, Mark Their Spot
28August 2009
The recession isn’t over yet, but some economic sectors are sprouting again, so some of your managers if left unchecked, a.k.a. TOTs, may be taking this opportunity to act out in some specific ways.
As BusinessWeek and MSNBC point out this week, Terrible Office Tyrants (TOTs)TM are in full season.
In particular, TOTs are now marking their territories like never before. Maybe they’re attempting to amass office space, sales forces, or “marking” sales territories with hoarded executive office pens! They might as well hang a sign on their doors that reads “This is MINE; go get your own stuff!” Territorialism is rampant, as mentioned in detail in my Psychology Today blog and in Forbes.com.
The problem is your staff may have just been assigned a part of your TOT’s old sales territory - and he’s not real happy about it - even though he’s been your employee’s mentor for 11 years and has diligently learned some of his best sales techniques. Now your Terrible Office Tyrant manager is calling on his former clients, telling them that your staff member is a “rookie” and they should contact him because he’s the “real deal.”
What makes your Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) display these territorial claims in the office?
It stands to reason that the same skills your TOT used to survive childhood and/or a former job would serve him well in the hand-to-hand combat of corporate life, as explained in Psychology Today entitled Why Bosses Act Like Toddlers. His goal is to get stuff - and keep it. Your goal is to have him let go of it and delegate.
To avert conflicts, make sure that your TOT knows how much you value his mentoring of more junior staff. Assure him that you value managers whose staff is strong.
Once your TOT realizes that you’re not a divisive leader, and that a solid staff is an asset that helps the company grow, you’ll mitigate the power grab syndrome. In Tame Your Terrible Office TyrantTM (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, there are many more suggestions on how to handle difficult managers in your ranks.
Territorialism is just one of 20 Terrible Office Tyrant behaviors outlined in my book, by chapter. I am often asked to describe all of them. See if you can find one, two or more of these bad behaviors in your office in a given day or week:
BRATTY
These are the more aggressive traits that are typically activated when your TOT is operating under stress, has been taught that this behavior will achieve self-serving results, or your boss is fearful of an impending outcome:
1. Bragging
2. Bullying
3. Demanding
4. Ignoring
5. Impulsiveness
6. Lying
7. Self-Centeredness
8. Stubbornness
9. Tantrums
10. Territorialism
LITTLE LOST LAMBS
These traits are often born out of incompetence or general fear of inadequacy. While they seem benign, these boss behaviors can be just as irritating - and equally as unproductive in the workplace.
11. Whining
12. Endless Questioning
13. Fantasy World
14. Fickleness
15. Helplessness
16. Irrational Fears
17. Forgetfulness
18. Mood Swings
19. Neediness
20. Short Attention Spans
For more details on TOT-proofing your company and creating a humanized workplace that is safe for success (meaning decreasing territorialism), you can order the book at Amazon, Barnes&Noble.com or Borders.
Don’t Allow Bad Bosses to Rule the Roost
14August 2009
When workplace frustrations seem overwhelming because of cranky, bad or childish boss actions, a.k.a., a Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) behavior in your company, you can stop the dynamic for the sake of your business. Specifically, you can remind managers how bad timing can make them act poorly or impulsively, to the detriment of staff morale.
As TOT readers know, and as explained in Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, managing unruly TOTs and toddlers often requires the same principles—and one is good timing.
As national career columnist Joyce Lain Kennedy mentions in her article Dealing with a bad boss isn’t easy for hamptonroads.com, and VIVMag.com states, both bad bosses and children behave in strikingly similar ways. Also visit the Boston Globe’s very pictorial pages of TOT behaviors at Boston.com (in fact, you can go ahead and vote and view results).
Toddlers throw tantrums, scream “No!” and can be stubbornly demanding. Bad bosses can have sudden angry outbursts, and say “No!” without any apparent reason. Knowing how to tame your TOT managers will give you control and help you increase productivity. So does role modeling CALM to your managers, as mentioned in my interview with career luminary Tory Johnson on GMA/ABC-News for “The Job Club.”
As a young mother, I learned that it was highly unwise to take my two tykes down the candy isle when it was feeding time. Taking bosses down the cubicle aisle at 11:30 a.m. while trying to get project approval? - also a bad idea. So what does that mean for you as their fearless leader? Encourage managers to speak up if the timing IS bad rather than lash out, for one. Also, remind them of the old saying “count to ten,” before letting off steam. After all, isn’t it loyalty and dedication we want most from our team?
To keep the sanity of your staff, plan ahead. When you schedule an afternoon meeting, make sure there are high protein snacks available. They help regulate blood sugar. If you go for the sugary snacks, then you are just adding to the blood spiking problem, which will result in a later crash and fatigue. It can bring out Demanding, Fearful and other TOT inclinations - meaning, the worst in anyone. See my regular blogs on Psychology Today, including one on Demanding bosses. Try to plan meetings for earlier in the day when everyone is fresh and mental activity is up and running. Everyone will be healthier for it.
With your good role modeling and reminders to any Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) behaviors you spot, you’ll prevent TOT attacks and keep the peace. For more details on timing and TOTs, order the book at Amazon, Barnes&Noble.com or Borders.
P.S. I thoroughly enjoyed my interview today with Terri Trespicio, the host of SIRIUS Radio “Martha Stewart Whole Living.” Visit TameYourTOT.com to listen. She is a real pro and knew precisely what the book and topic was about; a lot of fun! Great caller questions, too.
Does Your Firm Seem Like a Schoolyard?
27July 2009
If you’re like many senior business leaders today, you may often feel like you run a schoolyard or playground, not a professional office. But perhaps the only mood swings in sight are your manager’s mood swings.
Bad bosses, or what I call Terrible Office Tyrants (TOTs™) seem to be making rounds these days, as job loss fears are rampant. With unemployment at 9.5 percent nationally, it’s no wonder. Your managers may seem like the bullies at recess who goad your staff into jumping down from the top of a towering slide. The real-life version being that they ask subordinates to go into their boss’s office – the lion’s den – to confirm the details of Wednesday’s staff meeting.
If you’re running a company, this undoubtedly makes you cringe.
But take heart. In my new book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, I remind people that childish behavior at work is not your imagination! Sand may not be seen on the hallway parquet floor, but sandbox politics can be found everywhere if you look closely. Welcome to TOTdom.
So if unruly bosses and children who cannot moderate their power (a.k.a. TOTs) have a lot in common, what can you do? A few tips:
1. Use C.A.L.M. – Be the voice of reason to TOTs:
Communicate – Openly, honestly and frequently;
Anticipate – Know when trouble might be coming down the hall, and be prepared to “manage your managers” with solutions;
Laugh – Humor is the great diffuser of tension, so use it to simmer a heated debate; and
Manage all around you - Role model the behavior you want to see in your team, and keep your ear to the ground. Use positive reinforcement, and set limits to bad behavior.
2. Don’t allow needy bosses to consume the life of your valued staff. Needy bosses have “separation anxiety,” and want your team to work virtually 24/7. That ultimately hurts productivity and profits. Managers like these require a TOT “countdown” warning, especially, for example, when staff is leaving on a planned vacation this summer: “I’m leaving in 4, 3, 2, 1 week (s), but John is covering for me, and all my projects are under control.”
3. Know that angry, irritable and generally bad bosses are usually acting out of fear. Corporate anxiety is contagious, so make sure you’re doing your part to foster confidence and independent thinking. TOTs can easily become stressed out about their own jobs; meeting deadlines; reducing staff or pay; or just being overworked, and pass that along to your team. Your workforce will be left wondering: “Is it me?” – wasting precious time.
You can take proactive steps to manage the 20 most common TOT traits, whether they are of the “bratty” or “little lost lamb” variety. Remember that behind your manager’s professional façade is often a small child (hanging from the monkey bars in fright!)
Take a moment to check off how many of these traits you witness directly or indirectly in a day. Please let me know through the blog or site contact forms. There are tons of tips and anecdotes in the new book, but I’d like to hear yours!
Bratty Behavior
1. Bragging
2. Bullying
3. Demanding
4. Ignoring
5. Impulsiveness
6. Lying
7. Self-Centeredness
8. Stubbornness
9. Tantrums
10. Territorialism
11. Whining
Little Lost Lambs
12. Endless Questioning
13. Fantasy World
14. Fickleness
15. Helplessness
16. Irrational Fears
17. Forgetfulness
18. Mood Swings
19. Neediness
20. Short Attention Spans
Help is Here for TOT-Laden Workplaces
23July 2009
It has been a very exciting week! In the first week’s launch of my book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™(TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job (John Wiley & Sons), it has received extensive media attention. The book’s release represents my seven year passion, which continues - to help employees become more empowered in their jobs, and to foster a more humanized workplace. Along the way, I’ve had the support and encouragement of amazing business colleagues and friends, for which I am very grateful.
It’s rewarding to hear reactions to the book from employees, reporters and, yes, even business leaders! Comments have run the gamut from “Oh, of course!” to outright laughter. Overall, there’s a common, instant response to the core premise – the striking parallels between difficult bosses and children.
“That’s how my boss acts,” many people exclaim, finally realizing that they’re not alone.
“Boy, do we have TOTS in our office!” is another familiar statement.
“Wow, you’ve really hit on something here!”
And that’s one of the important messages of my writing and training – TOTs really are everywhere and all of us can deal with them.
As I discussed on ABC-TV this week with Tory Johnson, its important that we don’t lose sight of the fact that employees and employers must share the responsibility to tame their TOTs. Too many bad bosses are acting like unruly children who have trouble modulating their power. They’re throwing tantrums, being demanding, needy, distracted or moody.
Such childish behaviors sap productivity – at a time when we least need that to happen! But the great news is that employees can turn this around… almost instantly, with some honed parental-style, humanistic techniques!
As I pointed out in my recent “When TOTs Run the Office” article on the Psychology Today website, at some point in our working lives we’re likely to be confronted with a TOT. Too many offices resemble a chaotic schoolyard, replete with bad bosses playing sandbox politics. But therein lies an opportunity to save your sanity and everyone else’s.
By “decoding” the boss’s true emotions, employees can better align themselves with their manager’s goals, and become indispensable. Jihan Thompson of Marie Claire talks with me about this approach in the magazine’s August 2009 cover story, where I provide insights on interpreting a boss’s childlike statements.
Taming your TOT is not just for employees. In Forbes magazine’s CEO Power section this week, I point out how CEOs can also “Make Room at the Top” for strong leaders by avoiding “territorialism.” While doing so, they promote an environment where there’s space for everyone to grow and do their best work. A place that’s safe for success. This boosts productivity, employee morale and, profits.
So the next time you spot a TOT, don’t reach for a pacifier, pack your boxes or order a mass layoff. First get your copy (or copies!) of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™(TOT) from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Borders …and tame your office TOTs – for a workplace that works!
“So, What’s Your Book About?”
27June 2009
In my daily travels, after people ask me the name of my forthcoming book, their first reaction is usually laughter. They immediately understand that Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT) is a self-help guide to make the workplace more manageable, offering some laughs along the way. Mission accomplished! But the follow-up comments are always fascinating. “I could have written several anecdotes for your book!” “Gosh, [to a nearby subordinate], I’m not a TOT, am I?!” The dutiful subordinate blushes and replies: “Ha. Of course not!” “You must be the Dr. Spock of the workplace.” “Yeah, I cringed when I heard how some (former) managers spoke to employees!” When people want to know more, and ask, “What’s it really about?” – I usually say something to the effect of: “It helps you define your career rather than letting it define you.” I quickly describe the “TOT™” and toddler parallel of out-of-control office behavior. Then I explain how mastering the “parental” techniques of dealing with the similar traits is invaluable and, transferable –and that it will help them in their careers –maybe even in life. But one of the cornerstones of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™(TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job is about shared responsibility. When I first realized the similarities between children and bosses with too much power, I knew that by offering that perspective to employees, it would help them manage up. But the other side of the coin was that it would also help managers do their part from an employer’s’ perspective – it would help them humanize the workplace. A win-win, collaborative proposition. No matter your level in an organization, having the ability to master relationships with those around you is a legitimate, personal growth commitment. Not surprisingly, it also the secret to being a great leader. CEOs and senior business leaders can “TOT-proof their companies” and make their environment safe for success. More than anything else, my book makes it crystal clear that it’s incumbent upon everyone to set limits to bad office behavior and reinforce the good. Just as a good parent can reward good behavior and rebuke the bad, the same techniques work 9 to 5. So, what’s my book about? It’s a customizable guide to assist you in taking command of your own personal career currency. In the process, you can help your boss and fellow employees humanize your workplace.
Employee “Stress Tests”: Invest Now in Human Capital
12May 2009
The recent banking Stress Tests just revealed that an infusion of $74.6 billion in capital will be necessary for banks to withstand the recession. Shrewd managers might be well advised to follow suit with their employees and conduct a “stress test” of their own.
The goal? To similarly determine how their staff is withstanding the recession, the downsized workforce and the oversized workload. I can’t think of a better way to “invest” – only it’s investing in invaluable human – not banking capital.
Performing a “wellbeing audit” of employees is not a costly, timely or complex proposition. By proactively checking in with your team, keeping an “open door” policy, being a good listener, and letting the team know that it’s okay to make mistakes, you’re off to a very good start. A humanized workplace versus a sanitized workplace is a lot more enjoyable for everyone.
Recently, in the Society for Human Resource Management’s publication, SHRM Online, we explained why it makes good business sense to reach out to your team, especially during difficult times. The alternative is fear and mistrust – an environment that encourages what I call Terrible Office Tyrants™ (TOTs).
From a future recruiting standpoint, when we’re in recovery mode, every resume will become a valued commodity. Employees (and customers) have long memories, and in every industry there are key players that somehow make the field very small: good to remember if you’re in a recruiting capacity.
Imagine a workplace that becomes so “efficient” and de-humanized that you walk past the conference room and witness an apparition of robotic staff winding up with: “LOL”, “Well, IMHO…”, “K”. You walk down the hall, and a colleague apologetically bumps into you, gasping, “OMG!” (P.S. Did you read that as letters or three words?) Let’s hope for a more humanistic style of management before this happens!
National studies commissioned by Lynn Taylor Consulting suggest that the recession has created a lot of pent up tension from overworked staff – which will hopefully ratchet down soon. When the rebound occurs, employees will be sure to seek those environments that invest the most in collaboration and human capital. Will that be yours?
Build Trust and Counter the Office Skeptics
24April 2009
As a manager, you may be alarmed if you read a recent independent national survey we commissioned on bosses. It reveals that 86% of U.S. adults believe that public failures of large companies are similar to the much less conspicuous, yet far reaching, poor daily decisions of bosses in general. It adds that both go under the radar until disaster strikes.
Surely no boss is perfect or can make the right decisions 100 percent of the time. But you can help to dial down the mistrust that seems to be so prevalent today. It’s key to the success of your business. While staff trimming may be a necessary evil, you must show you’re committed to getting through this difficult time as a team. Like so many aspects of achieving success, maintaining an objective, healthy perspective - and being proactive can make all the difference. Here are some simple workplace strategies:
Provide your employees with highly specific input and direction: Cutting corners on time upfront may seem expedient. But it will have your team spinning their wheels. If you take the time to organize and strategize with a thinly stretched staff, you’ll reap the rewards in productivity gains.
Don’t allow negativity to devour you: Despite the prevalent “sky is falling” mood in corporate America, set a positive tone. When things are in flux, let it be known that chances for advancement still exist as always for your team.
Give those who manage others in your firm the benefit of the doubt: At the same time, operate with your eyes open and your ear to the ground. Ensure that they are good motivators during this difficult time. Keep an open door policy, as mentioned in my last blog. If their actions are caught too late, you may lose morale, top talent, customers, significant revenue - or even the company.
You likely have a manager yourself: Make it clear to others that you’re a reliable, solutions-oriented person. Read my Managing Up tips at TameYourTOT.com -News/Articles, to find out more about how to effect change through diplomacy and problem solving.
Everyone can agree that this is an unusual and very challenging period of our history. While you can’t control Wall Street or the economy’s effect on the business, you can help engender more trust and positive energy in the office. Your skillful communications, dedication to greater transparency and peace making will all make a difference. The results? Immeasurable benefits now, but particularly when the uptick returns.
