Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Managing Mood Swings
13January 2012
Employees take their “attitudinal” cues from their bosses. If the boss is upbeat, then the employee acts in kind. If the boss is all over the map, your workplace may be morphing into a sugared up schoolyard, complete with sugar crashes in the afternoon.
If your employees are wearing more “Goth” attire lately, you might want to check on your managerial approach. Are your moods as changeable as the stock market? In my latest Psychology Today blog, How To Manage Your Boss’s Mood Swings, I explain what may be the cause of mood swings and how to handle them. It’s an opportunity to see if this is occurring in your own backyard.
Of course, if you feel your management style is fairly stable, then you can use my five tips for managing moody mayhem to lighten up your own managers. By doing so, your workplace can change from the Perfect Storm to smoother sailing this New Year.
Five Things Not to Do in a Job Interview
25October 2011
In my latest article for Psychology Today I talk about winning in that high-stake game – the job interview. Seemingly insignificant mistakes can lead to a job opportunity slamming shut in your face. But putting attention on a few key things and keeping a positive attitude will help you to get through. Here is a snippet:
You haven’t had a job in months, money is tight, and you’re losing patience in your search. Then you get “the call!” You secure a job interview and think, “Did this hiring manager misdial? “Did I just hit the lottery?” You leave your home for the appointment, but your downbeat persona follows you. If you’re finding that during interviews, your posture, expression and responses show you’re not on top of your game—stop the presses! It’s time to hit “reset” if you really want to land a great job.
It’s very easy to become jaded after countless failed job search efforts, but you can make a concerted effort to change your attitude to the positive. If it’s any easier, consider it a challenge to try a new mindset. Even if you won the Nobel Peace Prize—twice—a negative tone would offset that lofty achievement! Most everyone can afford to take their level of enthusiasm up a notch during job interviews—and they will likely increase their odds of success significantly.
Although you might have regretted an interview response or two in the past, as most mortals have, you can avoid some faux pas by knowing some of the more common pitfalls in advance. For the five DON’Ts and Do’s to help you shine in your next job interview, read the article at PsychologyToday.com
Turn a Distant Boss Into an Interested One
27September 2011
While dealing with the pressures of day-to-day management, keep in mind that as you immerse yourself in work, your stuff may be reaching out to you – for a huge variety of reasons. Your delay in responding may be justified but, like with anything else, people tend to assume the worst, and misunderstanding can lead to potential problems. Your co-workers may interpret lack of communication as passive-aggressive punishment for something they are not even aware of. Talk about a damper for the team spirit! In my recent article for Psychology Today I give the employee’s perspective on this issue.
Dealing with a Passive-Aggressive Boss
If you’ve ever experienced the great shut-out from a passive-aggressive boss, you know how nerve-wracking such treatment can be. And if you’ve followed the dynamics of the “Terrible Office Tyrant” or “TOT,” you can easily picture your boss as a child who doesn’t get his way and chooses to ignore you. But you can empower yourself to manage this kind of boss - and create a less stressful, more healthy job environment for yourself. It’s a career skill you can take to any job.
Let’s first analyze what exactly is going on here. It’s one thing to have a toddler cross his arms and refuse to acknowledge you because you’ve locked away the cookie jar. It’s quite another to have a grown adult shun you for no discernible reason with more outwardly sophisticated, workplace mind games.
When a manager treats you like you have the plague, your first natural thought is: “What did I do?!” You feel you’re in hot water, but don’t see any obvious reasons for it. You whip up your trusted arsenal of “tricks” to coax a response from your suddenly distant TOT. But as those fail, your anxiety grows. As the silent treatment goes on, you’re increasingly haunted by prospects of a pink slip.
Your elusive TOT isn’t necessarily trying to punish you or make you fearful. The problem is that it’s not easy to know where you stand. You may feel consciously frozen out, get stared at blankly, or even smiled at in an insincere manner. Yes, it’s very possible that your passive-aggressive TOT of a boss may be angry with you - or be aware of some impending bad news, such as a layoff.
But it’s also possible that he might simply be overwhelmed, distracted, self-absorbed, or oblivious. Either way, you can take control and be the wise “parent”. If you don’t take matters into your own hands, you may be headed for a pretty disappointing stretch in your career.
For more, including some important (and funny) dos and don’ts, read the complete article on psychologytoday.com.
Can You Innovate AND Manage Like Steve?
5September 2011
Recent departure of Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple sent some major ripples throughout the business community. There is a universal feeling, though (reflected in the way its shares’ prices behaved after the news), that it’s not going to weaken Apple in any way. Being a truly great leader, Jobs has made Apple the best a company can be — a perfect fusion of cutting-edge creativity and business genius. In my recent article for Psychology Today I take a look at what makes a great leader and what would enable every manager to be a Steve Jobs for his own team. Here’s an excerpt (or, better yet, read the whole article here):
Some believe you’re either a business leader (great motivator or figurehead, for example) or a creative type who quietly sits in the corner like the gifted (or “mad” scientist) — and bingo, another killer product is born! Well perhaps we now have highly visible evidence that you can do both, although the leadership side is much easier to dissect.
For example, the most innovative work environment you can create is one where it’s safe for success - one that allows your team to take risks and offer suggestions for improvements, even if small mistakes occur. Some of the best advancements in a company come from people who are in customer-facing positions, on the front lines.
In one national independent study we commissioned among 586 workers, 91 percent felt that it’s positive for morale when managers even change course after getting employee feedback. Too often, there’s a logjam of ideas emanating from your people up the chain of command — due to territorialism. So things stay status quo.
Steve Jobs and Apple kept to the vision, but also kept the pulse on the ever-changing customers needs, 24/7, as the best marketers do.
Certainly Apple has its challenges ahead. But do you - in trying to create a fertile environment for creativity while managing a team? Do you seek to make your workplace safe for success? I would venture that some of these approaches came naturally to Steve and will be part of the continuing management culture.
For tips on how to be a good leader, continue to PsychologyToday.com
Tame Your “Horrible Boss”
19July 2011
If you’ve seen the new movie “Horrible Bosses”, there’s a good chance it made you think of someone you have to deal with on a daily basis. The movie’s exaggerated villains reminded me of childish behavior I have so often observed in real life. In my recent article for Psychology Today I reviewed some of the more common behaviors of “baby bosses”.
Tame Your “Horrible Boss”
How to Manage a Big Bad Baby of a Boss
He looks like an adult, but if you make a blunder just before lunchtime, watch out! In other words, some bosses can easily revert to fussy, unrestrained babies in corporate suits. While out-of-line behaviors portrayed in “Horrible Bosses” are thankfully more fiction than the norm, you may be facing disguised babies in their terrible twos, otherwise known as a Terrible Office Tyrants - or TOTs for short. Rather than contemplating extreme measures from the popular movie, you can tame the more typical “bad boss” - and even thrive in the process. (A lot less palatable than serving jail time!)
If your boss is often: stubborn, demanding, fickle, self-centered, has a short attention span (afflicted with B.A.D.D. for Boss Attention Deficit Disorder), needy, whiny or throws tantrums - just a few of the classic 20 childish, bad boss types from Tame Your Terrible Office TyrantTM: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job (John Wiley) - you can take steps to save your sanity and your job.
Even though the baby of a boss would be “helpless” without you, you needn’t give up your power. No need to be a servant or a saboteur, but rather a savvy survivor who can outsmart naughty behavior. See if these parallel behavior excerpts strike a chord. Then consider some of the tips that follow.
Toddler/Boss Parallels: STUBBORN
Toddler Behavior 1: Your toddler refuses to go to bed even when his head rolls to the side, his puzzle piece falls out of his hands, and drool rolls down his chin.
TOT Behavior 1: Your TOT refuses to end a late meeting, even after the staff begins tapping, the janitors turn off hallway lights, and your boss begins nodding off himself.
Toddler Behavior 2: She tries to stick the hippo puzzle piece into the guppy-shaped hole 20,000 times, and gets angry when you offer the correct piece. She angrily rejects your suggestion and goes back to pounding Harry Hippo into Gary Guppy’s tail.
TOT Behavior 2: Your boss uses the same ineffective sales pitch 20,000 times and gets angry when you suggest that she try something new. “This exact pitch built this company,” she hisses.
TIPS
• Temper your boss’s obstinacy by giving him choices and having a back-up plan.
• Choose your words carefully when making requests.
• Listen intently, so you allow your TOT to be heard.
Toddler/Boss Parallels: FICKLE
Toddler Behavior 1: Your toddler announces his favorite color is green. He will only wear green from now on. After you scramble to assemble an all-green wardrobe, he declares: “My favorite color is yellow,” and will only wear yellow.
TOT Behavior 1: Your TOT insists on a suit-and-tie dress code one week, then switches to business casual the next, and then back to suits again, leaving staffers scrambling to adjust their wardrobes.
Toddler Behavior 2: On Monday, your toddler says Jim is his best friend. Tuesday, it’s Sam. Wednesday, it’s David. Thursday…
TOT Behavior 2: On Monday, your baby-in-disguise TOT says Anne is the department’s top performer. Tuesday, it’s Ellen. Wednesday, it’s Martha. Thursday…
TIPS
• Like a toddler in a toy store, your “horrible boss” may be immobilized by the vast possibilities. Don’t give her lots of choices, just recommend what you know works.
• Be in command, make a plan and structure her day so she follows the path of your choice.
• Pick your battles. Be sure that when you decide to argue with your boss, the reasons are valid.
Toddler/Boss Parallels: SHORT ATTENTION SPAN
Toddler Behavior 1: Your child eats five chocolate cookies she got from a friend and spends the afternoon playing “trampoline” on the sofa, her bed, your bed, and the dog.
TOT Behavior 1: After her third espresso, you notice that your boss is talking on her cell phone, glancing at a webinar, checking e-mail, and texting while “listening” to you.
Toddler Behavior 2: You’re in a hurry and try to get your toddler to dress himself so you won’t be late for the kiddie gym class, again. He runs from room to room, turning it into a game, not noticing that you’re not smiling.
TOT Behavior 2: Your TOT brings you along so you can talk as he’s heading down to his car. However, he stops at every desk along the way to “touch base.” You never get to say anything except “Bye-bye.”
TIPS
• Help yourself by keeping your baby/boss from having a mind that wanders. In meetings, focus on the objectives and make sure communications are lively and interesting.
• Babies like bright colors. Baby bosses like bright colors. Make your pie charts accordingly.
• Be vigilant. With a very busy boss, you have to watch for opportunities that will allow you to get his or her attention.
Toddler/Boss Parallels: TANTRUMS
Toddler Behavior 1: He won’t let you near his toys, because you always end up taking them from him.
TOT Behavior 1: He won’t let you near his pet project because he prefers to let his “yes men” work on it.
Toddler Behavior 2: She yells, “No, no, no, spinach is yucky! Noooooo!”
TOT Behavior 2: She yells, “No, no, no, don’t you know how to write a proposal? You did it all wrong. Noooooo!”
TIPS
One of the most glaring similarities between toddlers and TOT bosses is that when faced with a situation out of their control, they resort to rage and tantrums. When a toddler feels his authority is being threatened, watch out! His displaced rage (a good boss admits his mistakes and moves on; a bad boss blames you) can make you a target unless you know how to step out of the way. Then you are best served to use positive and negative reinforcement when things settle down and role model positive behavior. (More on this in prior blogs.)
Change Your Thinking (Think Professional Pacifying, with Boundaries) You can make a difference in your job and in the workplace - and enact change, if there’s something in it for your boss. Learn to manage your TOT through a professional form of pacifying, but with clear limits and boundaries. You will help preserve your sanity, ease tension, and keep your workload manageable. And you won’t have to hire Jamie Foxx to solve your “horrible boss” dilemma.
College Grads, Take Heart: A New Press-Release
4June 2011
It’s that time of the year again, when colleges let an infusion of fresh young blood into the nation’s workforce – an estimated 1.5 million graduates this year. College is hard – only about half the people who go to college actually graduate. Those who saw it through and just received their diplomas certainly have a reason to be proud, but this is just the preparation, not even the first step of a career. Now they have to find a job that would let them apply all that knowledge and carry their life into the bright future. The collective “graduation present” they are getting this year is, alas, far from inspiring – May’s rising unemployment figures can be a wet blanket for young aspirations. Still, there is a lot of hope for those who can set their priorities, seize the day, and use every opportunity to take a step, however small, towards their goal. This recent press release contains my recommendations on how to make sure your college years bear fruit as soon as possible.
Hope Exists for Grads Despite Unemployment Spike,
Says Workplace Expert, Author
SANTA MONICA, Calif., June 3, 2011 /PRNewswire/ — With degrees in hand, college grads are launching their post-graduate job hunt during a time of protracted national unemployment, which has risen to 9.1 percent for May 2011. So how do freshly minted grads find a job to love and stand out above the competition? One workplace expert says that graduates can be proactive and take steps to counter high unemployment.
“This summer is not the time to kick back and think for weeks about your career aspirations. While it’s wise to be strategic and take a short break, use this time to advance your career and build invaluable references,” says workplace expert Lynn Taylor, author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant (John Wiley).
“Employers want to know that you’ll be dedicated on the job, and will ask you in so many words, ‘what you did over your summer vacation.’ Remember that it’s not uncommon to parlay a summer job — including a part-time one, into a long-term, satisfying position once fall arrives,” she says.
Taylor, CEO of Lynn Taylor Consulting, adds that too often, not enough effort is put forth towards researching the prospective employer. “You can also spend some time on LinkedIn and industry websites finding out about the hiring manager. “That may create some common bonds and further demonstrate your interest in working at the company,” Taylor says.
“During the interview, make sure you spend ample time interviewing directly with the person to whom you’ll be reporting — to avoid working for what I call “terrible office tyrants, or TOTs. Assuming the job will advance your career ‘on paper,’ chemistry is critical, and so are your instincts about the cultural fit,” says Taylor.
TIMELY TIPS
Get Out and About – “Use social media and trade groups to connect with those in your field,” Taylor says. “But don’t overlook face-to-face networking opportunities, community groups and organizations. “Write down every friend, relative, social contact you know,” Taylor says, “and ask them to spread the word — but always remember to also offer reciprocity — and help them in meaningful ways.” Also make a list of references you can produce at an interview.
Volunteer – at hospitals, charitable groups, or ideally, at a job in your field. “If you can afford to volunteer without pay in your field,” Taylor says, “that will appear as preferable to waiting tables because of the head start you’ll get in your career expertise, as well as references from people who are ‘connected.’” It is better to be working because you are demonstrating initiative. There are many general job skills that have cross-over skills, regardless of the field, including: learning how to be a team player, meet a boss’s objectives, gaining positive references, showing that you have strong character, are reliable and dedicated.
Be Poised and Polished – “Learning how to interact with people will give you an edge when interviewing, as people skills are critical in today’s techno-centric workplace. So consider joining Toastmasters, take communications classes and consider making presentations at local professional societies. And you don’t have to spend a lot of money to be well groomed and appear neat. Leave the Lady Gaga tee shirt for the company picnic,” says Taylor.
Be Confident, But Don’t Brag – “There’s a fine line between being self-assured and sounding conceited in your zeal to sell yourself. Hiring managers want to know that you can handle the job through facts and poise, not through hyperbole,” Taylor says. “At the other end of the extreme, don’t harp on any weak areas or be too humble. This is a chance to talk about your successes and how your past can contribute to their enhanced future.”
Be Open to Jobs Outside Your Field – Contact all relevant temporary agencies, even if the jobs aren’t exactly in your domain. If you’re seeking a corporate job, even getting exposure in an administrative position can be of value. Use job sites such as Monster, Craigslist and online industry job listings. Consider working through high-level, industry-specific temporary and consulting firms. And consider becoming a Tempreneur – combining temporary work with some entrepreneurial consulting, or parlaying project work into a full-time job. Finally, don’t feel stuck in your hometown. Move to where jobs are, if necessary.
Beware of the Overnight Sensation Temptation – “Creating your own business can be a challenge having just graduated, unless you’ve been developing a proven product or service as a student for some time. So be patient about creating ‘the next best thing,’ despite the overnight 20-something sensations of the past 12 years. And while you put in your proverbial time, just remember not to settle for the world’s worst job in the meantime,” Taylor says.
Job Interview a Key Window – She explains, “The job interview offers a critical window through which to judge the job and your own future work life. Companies may have ‘TOT zones’ that you can spot at the interview stage. When you know what to look for, then you can save months and even years of time that could be put to a more fulfilling, positive career path.”
Gauge Your Follow Up – “When you do land an interview, always send a thank you e-mail. If you get positive feedback or encouragement that you’re a finalist, then check in every couple weeks with such approaches as helpful industry article links, local seminar alerts or updates on your skill set. Gauge your follow up frequency according to the feedback you get.”
The Art Of Quitting (Or Staying)
3May 2011
Jenna Goudreau, who runs a diverse and informative women-oriented column on Forbes.com touches upon a very important subject in her recent article, The Dos And Don’ts Before Leaving Your Job. A study by insurance provider MetLife shows that 36% of workers are planning a fresh start in 2011. If you are one of them, there is a warning for you from career experts, including yours truly: when heading for the exit, “watch your step” and don’t make mistakes that may trip you up in the future.
For example, you should make sure your bosses and co-workers don’t see your departure as a let-down for the company and make the transition as smooth as possible. Whatever the situation might be, I advise against letting negative emotions fly – biting your tongue will increase your chances of a positive recommendation.
Another vital issue is prepping your replacement and following up after you leave. This responsibility, while important, should certainly be limited, and the article quotes my recommendations in this regard.
As the final step, I recommend spending some extra time to look around and tie up loose ends, making sure your “clean break” is literally clean.
The article – that you should read in its entirety – will help you if you are leaving your job, but have you given enough thought to this important step? Is it absolutely the only thing to do? In my recent article for Psychology Today I advise to “look before you leap.” Do this before making your current job a “thing of the past”:
Examine practical risks associated with leaving.
Create a “Solutions” document, to examine what can be done to improve your situation.
Make your “Skills Inventory” and see what additional skills you can offer in your current position.
Revert negative thinking and examine what’s right with your current job, instead of focusing on “wrongs.”
For more, read the complete article here.
Of course, sometimes moving on is the only way to move ahead. That’s why my next blog will be on When It’s Time to Leave Your Job. But for now, let’s have another look at our “bird in the hand” that for some reason we don’t like anymore.
How to Tame Difficult, Childish Coworkers
6April 2011
In my recent article for Psychology Today I address the issue of difficult co-workers. Climbing the corporate ladder can be a challenge when one or more of your office folk act as if your success will thwart their own advancement. Some believe that knocking you out of the way or climbing over you is the only route to the top. These terrible office tyrants (a.k.a. TOTs, who can act like children in their Terrible Twos) can sometimes wreak havoc with your career as much – or more than – a bad boss.
Classic Red Flags
TOT coworkers who refuse to “play nice” in the office sandbox may:
Try bossing you around
Undermine your project behind your back
Take credit for your idea
Make themselves look good at your expense
Some bad behavior is expected in any workplace; but constantly conniving cohorts are not. Unless you stop them in their tracks, they can create an unexpected detour in your career. Not surprisingly, good old fashioned parenting techniques work like a charm with TOT coworkers of all kinds. Should you leave pacifiers on their desks as a hint? Probably not. Find out what to do by reading the complete article on PsychologyToday.com.
How to avoid the pitfalls of the “Blame Game”
15March 2011
An excellent article in The New York Times addresses the perils of the Blame Game in the workplace.
Mistakes and failures happen in any working environment, and finger-pointing or scapegoating is a pretty common occurrence. People tend to copy blaming as a behavior and it can snowball into a culture of blame, creating a very difficult work environment.
Praise, on the other hand, motivates people. Every word of acknowledgement helps to keep your employees connected and inspired, so don’t miss an opportunity to give well-deserved credit. But don’t let it become an empty routine that’s lost its meaning. Be specific about what you’re acknowledging; do it in a variety of ways and places – at meetings, during a lunch, in an e-mail, by text or by memo, using different language each time.
The article quotes some of my advice to people receiving unfair accusations: “Avoid a knee-jerk response and take a step back instead, says Lynn Taylor, chief executive of Lynn Taylor Consulting, a workplace productivity firm in Santa Monica, Calif., and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant.”
For more tips on how to prevent the Blame Game from messing up your team’s workflow, read this interview in The New York Times: The Problem With Pointing Fingers.
How to Master “Matrix Boss Madness”
24February 2011
Matrix management – where supervisors with related skills are pooled for a more productive project outcome – can actually create a lot of chaos for you if not orchestrated well.
As we emerge from fuzzy job descriptions where responsibilities haphazardly crossed over each other during the recession – to a gradual recovery – some supervisors may be looking to aggressively take an employee under their wing. Consequently, the said employee may be at a loss as to whom to please and when.
In my recent article on PsychologyToday.com I show employees how they can take action in mitigating some of the madness. It’s empowering, and a valued, long-term career tool that not only helps the employee promote their own career but also makes their supervisors’ task much easier.
To learn how to spot the signs of Matrix Boss Madness and develop Matrix Mastery, check out the complete article on PsychologyToday.com.
